“Perhaps his sorrow is splendor”

From a profound book, Lament for a Son, written by Nicholas Wolterstorff on the death of his 25-year-old son from a mountaineering accident:

It is said of God that no one can behold his face and live.  I always thought this meant that no one could see his splendor and live.  A friend said perhaps it meant that no one could see his sorrow and live.  or perhaps his sorrow is splendor.

And great mystery: to redeem our brokenness and lovelessness the God who suffers with us did not strike some mighty blow of power but sent his beloved son to suffer like us, through his suffering to redeem us from suffering and evil.

Instead of explaining our suffering, God shares it.

One missed kiss

Not only would there be one less kiss (see yesterday’s post), but it would be missed as well.  The Lord of Love needs your love.  He said to Simon the Pharisee, “You gave me no kiss . . . ” (Lk 7.45).  Amy Carmichael writes: “To love that could miss so small a sign of love as water, and a kiss, is not love the dearest offering?”  The Bridegroom says in the Song of Songs: “Let me see your face.  Let me hear your voice.”    I don’t remember where I read the following:

. . . on Good Friday she [Sr. Maria Pierina at the age of 12] heard a voice saying quite distinctly: “Nobody gives me a kiss of love in My Face to make amends for the kiss of Judas.” In her childlike simplicity, she believed that the voice was heard by all and was pained to see that only the wounds were kissed but not the face.  In her heart exclaiming, “Have patience, dear Jesus, I will give you a kiss oflove,” she imprinted a kiss on the Face with full ardour.

During these high holy days, don’t miss those small chances to offer Him a kiss.  It takes just the simplest lifting of your heart and face to His.

Acquainted with grief

The anniversary of my brother, Tim’s tragic death is approaching, and one of the things I start thinking about is how many other folks that I see in my daily life travels–perhaps stopping at Meijer–are carrying heavy things, either for themselves or for others.  Sometimes I can feel alone in my grief–not that others are trying to support me.   Indeed I am blessed with so many good friends.  But the circumstances of my brother’s death can be isolative . . .  However, I take great comfort in this verse from Isaiah 53, referring to Jesus: he was “acquainted with grief.”  He knows the path I take.  And yours as well.

Utterly spent

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling utterly spent.  My/our good friend’s funeral had been the night before.  Hundreds of people had come to the wake and her wonderful funeral–and it was truly wonderful–and needless to say I am exhausted both from my own shock and grief at her death as well as from helping her family from out of town with all the funeral details and packing up her house before they leave to go home.  So yesterday morning, Ash Wednesday, I woke up feeling very, very poor and spent and thinking, “I have utterly nothing left to give.”  And at that moment there was a little nudge inside me, reminding me that that is exactly the best place to be at the beginning of Lent: poor and spent.  The best place for God to be able to love me–which is the point of Lent.  Repentance basically is our attempt to get rid of all that separates from Him and His love.  It’s not about giving up things–it’s about giving up what separates us from His love.  As it says in Hosea:  I am going to lure her and lead her out into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her heart (Hosea 2.14)  God wants to speak tenderly to each of our hearts this Lent.  Let’s not get so caught up in giving up things for the sake of giving up things that we miss that.

(for a related post, see “When you feel like you have nothing left to give”)

Hymns of light and chants of darkness

I have been pondering this selection ever since I read it in Abandonment to Divine Providence last night. 

Souls who walk in light sing the hymns of light; those who walk in the shadows chant the hymns of darkness.  Each must be allowed to sing through to the end the words and melody which God has given him.  Nothing must be changed in what he has composed.  Every drop of distress, bitter as gall though it may be, must be allowed to flow, no matter what its effect on us.  It was the same for Jeremiah and Ezekiel.  They found consolation only in continuing their laments.  Had their tears been halted, we should have lost the loveliest passages in Scripture.

I have felt for many years that God has had me walking in the shadows rather than walking in the light.  This is a very thought-provoking passage for me.  He is not talking about a hopeless type of lament, but true lament, sung in God and to God.  Michael Card, in his book Sacred Sorrow, talks about this very thing, the importance of lament.  (I have more to say about this, but not the time today.  More later.  But I’m interested in your thoughts.)

“A word for the year”

Yesterday I came across this blog post about having a “word for the year”.  I have a very good friend who always takes time at the end of the year to do just this thing: seek the Lord about a word or phrase that He might have for her to focus on for the coming new year.  I find myself doing the same just because of my friendship with her.  (She’s another of the “lighted coals” in my life.)  Sometimes the phrase carries over for a longer time.  “Blessed is he who takes no offense at Me” is one that continues to form my life after coming across it four years ago.  If you asked me about this year, I would probably say it has something to do with keeping my lamp filled with oil and lit at close to midnight–it’s dark and I wonder if He’s ever going to come . . . 

Do you have a word for your year?  I’m sure we would all love to hear you share about it.

Saturday morning

On Saturday mornings I play guitar for Morning Prayer and worship time, so usually the first prayer out of my mouth when I wake us is “Lord, I need your help.”  I need His help for inspiration for which songs to play, to be sensitive to His Holy Spirit.  This morning, however, what came out of my mouth was, “Lord, You need my help.”  And then I burst out laughing and immediately corrected myself.  As I thought about it later though, I realized that there is some truth to what I prayed.  God is always needing our help, our help to be His hands and His feet, His voice to others.  I’ve been pondering that the rest of this day . . .

Prayer request

I came home early from retreat because a very good friend was in a serious car accident.  Her entire family is out-of-state, so I am currently having to spend quite a bit of time at the hospital.  I will start posting again as soon as I have some breathing space.  Please keep her in your prayers. 

A blessed New Year!

Searching for the Christ Child

Life, for women especially, can be so very busy before this most holy day that is approaching so swiftly.  Sometimes we miss the Christ Child because we are so busy, but take hope from this meditation by Fulton Sheen.  God works everything for the good.

The Russian peasantry for centuries has propagated a curious tradition.  It is about an old woman, the Baboushka, who was at work in her house when the wise men came from the East and passed on their way to Bethlehem to find the Child.  “Come with us,” they said.  “We have seen his star in the East, and we go to worship him.”
     “I will come, but not now.  I have much housework to do, and when that is finished, I will follow and find him.”  But her work was never done.  And the Three Kings had passed on their way across the desert, and the star shone no more in the darkened heavens.
     Baboushka never saw the Christ Child, but she is still living and searching for him.  And though she did not find him, out of love for him, she takes care of all his children . . . . The tradition has it that she believes that in each poor child whom she warms and feeds, she may find the Christ Child whom she neglected long ago.  But she is not doomed to disappointment, for the Divine Child said, “He who receives one of these little ones in my name, receives me.”