Author: Sr. Dorcee, beloved

I am the one whom Jesus loves.

Cloud and Fire (2)

Gold is gold before it goes through the fire.

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Well, as I think about it, I realize that the Lord leads me by fire also–not the kind of brilliant, clear fire ahead of me–or by Fourth of July fireworks either–but by a purifying internal fire, a fire that purges and causes great longing for Him and Him alone.   It’s not a fire that makes one “feel good” necessarily, but, nonetheless, it is a fire that leads, and leads us to places that we cannot go on our own.  It is the very fire of  His Holy Spirit making us ready to see Him as He is.

And that reminds me of something a good friend of mine, Cecilia, told me years ago when I was going through the fire: “Gold is gold before it goes through the fire.”  A good thing for us all to remember–we are already gold.  Amy Carmichael illustrates this point somewhere in her writings where she tells the story of a goldsmith who keeps pulling his work out of the fire and checking it.  When asked what he was doing, he replied that he was waiting for it to be pure enough to see his face in it.  So also does Christ want to see His face reflected in us, and that is the beautiful purpose of the fire in our lives.

Cloud and Fire (1)

God is just as much in the cloud as in the fire.

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“The Lord went before them . . . in cloud and fire.” (Exodus 13.21)

I don’t know about you but most of my prayer times seem to be in the cloud rather than the fire.  It’s comforting to know that God leads by a cloud as well as by a pillar of fire.   And it’s also strengthening to remember that God spoke to Moses out of the cloud.

From Amy Carmichael:
When Moses went up, a cloud enfolded him.  In that cool darkness he heard words which afterwards he spoke to the people in the heat and glaring light of the plain.  So, day by day, as we look forward into the hours which seem to rush upon us, we see not clearness but a cloud.  Then a Voice that we know calls softly, Come up to Me, and be here; the Cloud of the Unknown becomes for us then the very over-shadowing of the wings of the Lord; we sit down under His shadow with great delight, and His fruit is sweet to our taste [Song of Songs 2.3].  And this fruit, tasted first in the dark alone with Him, will be ours for others.  “What I tell you in darkness,” He says to us still, “speak that in the light.” [Matt. 10.27]

Figures of the True

Everything in God’s creation points to Him if only we have the eyes to see.

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Amy Carmichael has a slim book called Figures of the True.  It is a collection of meditations on some photos that someone sent her in her illness.  Each picture, she says, is a “Figures of the True”: “For surely they are not only lovely pictures of fragments of a lovely creation, they are patterns of things we all know if we have ever really lived: they are Figures of the True.”  Everything in God’s creation points to Him if only we have the eyes to see.

Fairy Door
Fairy Door

Today I am going over to our “baby house” to help our little girls, Anna and Renee, make some fairy doors.  Ann Arbor has a set of these around town, delightful little doors through which one can peek and see the little world of fairies.  I’ve always loved looking through them.  The girls recently took a tour of them and want to make their own.  I started thinking about how they, too, are a Figure of the True.  Most of these doors around town require one to stoop down to look through them. It’s only then that you can see into the little room created behind the door.  In the spiritual life, humility is often referred to as the low door through which one must enter the kingdom of heaven.  And the world one enters through that door is far more delightful and beautiful than that behind any fairy door . . .  Let’s not hesitate to stoop and enter by the door of humility as it presents itself daily in our lives. 

P.S. I’ll post pictures of the little girls’ doors soon. (See “More Figures of the True.”)

The pharisee became the publican

The parable of the Pharisee and the publican applied with a new twist.

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The Pharisee and the Publican (James Tissot)Another thing that can cause me discouragement sometimes is dealing with besetting sin–you know that thing you keep taking back to confession over and over.  One of mine is critical thinking.  A few years ago I read Sr. Ruth Burrow’s autobiography, and in it she spoke about this being one of her ongoing faults as well.  However, she found what I think is a very clever way to deal with it:

Perceptive, quick to see the flaws in another, I was prone to criticism, finding a certain satisfaction in seeing another at fault as though this, in some way, raised me up.  I knew that no fault would so displease our Lord or stop his grace as this harsh judgment on his children.  I realized I had the mentality of a pharisee but, I thought to myself, if a pharisee had turned to our Lord and admitted his hardness of heart, his crabbed, mean spirit and asked for help, our Lord would have helped him.  So I did the same.  The pharisee became the publican.  I came to realize that temptations to pride, the sin of the pharisee, could make one a publican.  The stone which the builders rejected could become head of the corner.  I tried to use these bad tendencies to grow in humility.

And the Angels danced, don’t you think?

Driving to the gym

God looks at our best efforts and comes to our help.

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I have been trying to establish a regular pattern of walking for exercise, and last week only managed to do a third of what I would have liked and started to get discouraged.  I have a  perfectionistic personality–which I’ve found harder and harder to live with as I’ve gotten older.  🙂  But then I remembered a story that Fr. Tim Gallagher shared during a series of talks he gave at our parish.  I’m not sure if I’ll remember all the details, but I do remember the point.  From what I remember, the story was of a priest who for medical reasons needed to start exercising more regularly.  But he wasn’t a lover of exercise.  He would get up, get dressed, drive to the gym, but then turn around and go home.  The next morning he would get up, get dressed, drive to the gym, turn around and go home–without ever exercising.  Fr. Tim’s point was how good it was that he at least got up, got dressed and drove to the gym.  That was an accomplishment!  A step in the right direction.  So I applied that to my situation last week–at least I walked once that week!  That’s better than nothing.  As long as I keep trying . . .  A good principle for our spiritual lives as well. 

Reminds me of something from Therese.  She uses the analogy of a little child trying to climb the stairs.  She keeps trying to lift her foot to go up the stairs, but is too little to make it.  “At the top of those stairs, he [Jesus] is looking at you lovingly.  Soon conquered by your vain efforts, he will come down himself, and taking you in his arms, will carry you forever into His kingdom where you will not leave him again.  But if you stop lifting your little foot, he will leave you on earth for a long time.” As long as we keep trying . . .  or driving to the gym . . . or trying to be kind . . . or deciding to pray even though it’s very dry and distracted.

and the Angels danced

Heaven’s response at our penitence.

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This poem by Mother Mary Francis, a poor Clare, has been on my mind this morning:

Choreography for Angels
“I say to you, that there is joy among the angels
in heaven upon one sinner doing penance . . . ”
(Luke 15:10)

Who spun these Angels into dance
When wars are needing all artillery
Of spirits’ cannonading.  Armistice
Wants first the over-powering wings, and they
Are occupied with pirouettes!  Who did this?

                               Gone penitent, I caused it.  I confess it.

Who tilted flames of Seraphim
In arabesques of pure delightedness?
Is not the cosmic crisis begging fire
For full destruction of hate’s hazarding!
Why Seraphs swirling flames on floors of heaven?

                                  I lit the heavens, when I bent my head.

Who lined mystic corps-de-ballet
Of Cherubim?  Who set in pas-de-deux
This Power with this Principality?
Why these Archangels not on mission sent
Today, but waltzing on the stars, and singing?

                         I am the one who did this.  I confess it.
I smote my errant heart, and Angels danced.

May we remember this is the reality of the Heart of God.

The power of wounding His Heart

The simplest glance of our eyes wounds and ravishes the Heart of Christ.

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Healing of the woman with an issue of blood
Healing of the woman with an issue of blood

  Reflecting on today’s Gospel (Mark 5) about the woman with the flow of blood who reaches out and touches Christ’s garment, I remember this pithy quote from Gilbert of Hoyland: “The woman touched but the hem of His garment, and Christ felt virtue go forth from Him.  How much more is it when His Heart is not only lightly touched, but wounded.”  And how do we wound His Heart? The word is meant in a good sense here, as in Song of Songs 4:9: “You have ravished (Vulgate: wounded) my heart, my sister my bride, you have ravished (wounded) my heart with a glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.”   What power we have over the Heart of our Beloved Lord, that just a single glance from us–throughout our busy days–ravishes and wounds His Heart. . .  Do not underestimate the simplest lifting up of your heart to Him, the simplest glance of your eyes.

Why Saturday is Mary’s Day

Saturday is traditionally observed as the day of Our Lady. John Saward explains why.

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Lady of ConsolationHave you ever wondered why Saturday is traditionally observed as the day of Our Lady? A few years ago I was reading a book by John Saward (The Beauty of Holiness, the Holiness of Beauty), and, in a section about our Lady, he described Mary’s unfailing faith through the long, terrible day after Christ’s death when she alone kept faith in her Son.   I had never before heard of this mariological foundation for Saturday being traditionally her day:

The yes [her continued yes to the Lord that began with her Annunciation yes] of Our Lady does not end on Good Friday and [Christ’s] yielding of the spirit . . . . The faith and love of Our Lady last into Holy Saturday.  The dead body of the Son of God lies in the tomb, while His soul descends into Sheol, the Limbo of the Fathers.  Jesus goes down into the hideous kingdom of death to proclaim the power of the Cross and the coming victory of the Resurrection and to open Heaven’s gates to Adam and Eve and all the souls of the just.  The Apostles, hopeless and forlorn, know none of this.  “As yet,” St. John tells us, “they did not know the Scripture, that He must rise from the dead” (Jn 20.9).  In all Israel, is there no faith in Jesus?  On this silent Saturday, this terrible Shabbat, while the Jews’ true Messiah sleeps the sleep of death, who burns the lights of hope?  Is there no loyal remnant?  There is, and its name is Mary.  In the fortitude of faith, she keeps the Sabbath candles alight for her Son.  That is why Saturday, the sacred day of her physical brethren, is Our Lady’s weekly festival.  On the first Holy Saturday, in the person of Mary of  Nazareth, Israel now an unblemished bride, faces her hardest trial and, through the fortitude of the Holy Spirit, is triumphant.

And I take great comfort in knowing that Mary always burns the light of hope for me (and you!) as well.

Parable of the Talents (3)

“Everything that happens is for me a message of the excessive love of God for my soul.”

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Continuing from The Gift of Faith:

Only a person who has faith is able to be grateful for everything.  This gratitude will be visible on your face as joy; for everything may be changed into good.  This reflection about talents refers to the teaching of St. Paul and to the famous thesis of St. Augustine: ‘For the ones who love God, all things work for good, even sin’ (Rom 8:28).  Therefore, even a fall, which is a great misfortune, can be an opportunity within which is hidden some kind of talent given to you in that situation, from which you can profit.  You only need your faith or your conversion towards such faith which will enable you to look through the eyes of Jesus.

Thinking along these lines can be transformational.  I can’t help but think of a quote of Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity: “Everything that happens is for me a message of the excessive love of God for my soul.”  And as Amy Carmichael would say: “Everything means everything.”  There’s a lot to be meditated on in just the word “excessive” . . .  I can remember many times when I’ve said this quote out loud to myself in the midst of something that didn’t feel like His excessive love.  Sometimes it’s big things–like being elected superior–but most of the time it’s little things, like those interruptions that I don’t like or changes of plans.  (You can see where my self-centeredness lies . . .)   Yet if I can just remember that my self-centeredness is indeed also a “talent” . . .

Year for Priests

The Year for Priests decreed by Pope Benedict XVI begins today.

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Patron of Parish Priests
"The priesthood is the love of the heart of Jesus." (St. Jeanne Marie Vianney)

I have to add yet one more post for today (#3!) because today starts the Year for Priests decreed by Pope Benedict XVI on the occasion of the 150th anniversary of the death of St. John Marie Vianney, the patron saint of parish priests.  (His is one of the four relics in our altar at Christ the King.)  A plenary indulgence may be gained by all the faithful.  See plenary indulgence.  Let’s pray diligently for all priests this year: those we know, those suffering for the faith, those struggling with serious sin, and seminarians.

It’s no coincidence that it begins today on the Feast of the Sacred Heart.