Author: Sr. Dorcee, beloved
I am the one whom Jesus loves.
There’s a decision to make
Originally posted on Mudroom.
I can feel the tears
And this time I’m trying really hard to stay near You
But I can feel the water behind my eyes
Sometimes making it hard for me to see You.
I can feel the waves of doubt
Hitting me like bullets in a windstorm
And I’m squinting my eyes
Trying to see You although my vision often times feels weary and worn.
But I did say that I would seek You
In hope as well as in despair.
I did say that this time I would keep You near
And not push You off like You don’t care.
I did say that I would not close off my heart
Like I’ve done so many times before.
I did say that I would try out this new journey of trust
Even if it meant walking while I’m sore.
And yes, sometimes I feel like I have a limp,
And yet, I have to walk through my daily routine like nothing’s wrong
But this time, I’m trying to stay near Your heart
So I can hear You as You delight over me with a song.
There’s a decision to make.
I can hear an old soundtrack playing a familiar tune.
It invites me to cast off this fight to be strong
And instead recline to a familiar position that doesn’t trust You with this wound.
The familiar tune encourages me to shove off assurance
And keep distrust as the forerunner of thought
While passing the baton to victimization and dismay
Oftentimes keeping any opportunity for peace at fault.
And I know that tune
I can sing and belt out every word.
It’s the song that I know all too well
Because in some broken places in my heart, it’s the only song I’ve ever heard.
But I said I would listen to new lyrics
Ones that emphasized your faithfulness—even in tears
Lyrics that take away my woe and sorrow
Even if that’s all I’ve known for years.
I made a vow to my heart
That I would lean back and let You lead.
So this time I’m not letting my own opinions go first.
I really want You to succeed.
I know all too well—the feeling of doubt and distrust.
I’ve practiced that life for far too long
And it took me in painful circles
Even though I was the one who let it go on and on.
I’d like to try something new,
And I understand new doesn’t mean shiny and pain free.
New does mean Companionship with You, the Comforter,
Who has promised to remain ever so close to me.
You will be here
Even though I might cry, and weep, and fall limp with pain,
But this time I’m not by myself.
I can lean my heart up against You who too has endured the same.
I’ve found a friend
Someone who is beckoning to journey this path with me
And even though I at times might feel shame and condemnation
You have come to rescue me from that false identity.
I can take a deep breath
And not try to be a superhero without a power or a cape
Instead I can actually stand in His shelter
And let Him save my heart, my emotions, and the day.
Goodbye eternal misery
Goodbye to the endless trail of no hope and emptiness
Hello Comfort and Life
Hello to the One who has come to give me rest.
Sing Your Song over me Jesus!
Push out everything that would prevent me from hearing.
Sing Your Song over me Jesus!
Help me lean back, I let You lead, You are the only one I want steering.
This is the day
A blessed Easter all week long!
One of the things I love about the week after Easter is that the Church relates to each day of the octave as though it is Easter Day. In the Preface of Easter I, the priest is directed to pray during the octave: “We praise you with greater joy than ever on this Easter day when Christ became our paschal sacrifice.” (Unfortunately most of the priests where I attend daily Mass pray “in this Easter season.”) In the Liturgy of the Hours, we pray Morning, Evening, and Night Prayer of Easter Day all week. To me this is a foretaste of heaven when each day will be as the first. “This is the day the Lord has made. Let us be glad and rejoice in it!”
And this is our hope
Agony
In the hour of darkness the moon had hid her face,
And all the world was sleeping, save one who wept.
He left the meager comfort of well-meaning friends,
Charging them, Watch; and into the garden crept,
And heard the lie of the world;
That the darkness here is a fell and final thing:
And flesh will crumble for aye in the valley of bones,
And tongues that are parched will never find voice to sing.
And this is our hope: that he whose sweat was blood,
As the heavy droplets fell and his spirits sank,
Lifted his eyes and murmured Thy will be done;
Lifted cracked lips to the Father’s cup; and drank.
~Joseph Prever
Walking with Jesus
An excellent Holy Week suggestion from Fr. Peter John Cameron (editor of Magnificat):
One way to approach Holy Week to live it like no other of the year is to unite yourself with one of the holy people who accompany Jesus in his Passion. So perhaps you might identify with one of the disciples sent to prepare the Upper Room, looking at everything in your life in the light of the Eucharist . . . or the woman who anoints Jesus in Bethany, begging for the grace of special compassion . . . or Simon Peter, weeping with true repentance over your sins . . . or Simon of Cyrene, eager to take up Christ’s cross no matter how it may appear . . . or the Good Thief, bursting with hope that Jesus wants us to be with him in paradise . . . or John, daring to remain with Jesus on Calvary and accepting the gift of Mary to be our Mother . . . or the centurion, letting our profession of faith transform our life for ever: This man is the Son of God!
And for those of you who are walking your own way of the Cross, my advice is that you approach Holy Week pondering how Jesus is accompanying you in your passion, helping you to carry your cross, washing your feet and kissing them . . .
Oh, My beloved
One of my favorite meditations this time of year. So utterly profound.
Jesus is sweet in the bowing of His head and in death, sweet in the stretching out of 
His arms, sweet in the nailing together of His feet with one nail.
Sweet in the bowing of His head; for bending down His head form the cross He seems to say to His loved one: ‘Oh My beloved, how often hast thou desired to enjoy the kiss of My mouth, declaring to Me through thy comrades, “Let Him kiss me with the kiss of His mouth.” I am ready, I bow My head, I offer My mouth to be kissed as much as thou wilt. And say not in your heart, “I seek not such a kiss which is without beauty and loveliness, but I seek a glorious kiss which the angelic citizens of heaven seek ever to enjoy.” Be not thus mistaken, for unless you kiss that first mouth you will never reach to that other. Kiss therefore the mouth that I now offer to you, for though it be without beauty or loveliness it is not without grace.’
Sweet in the stretching out of His arms; for in extending His arms He reveals how He desires our embraces, and seems to say: ‘O all you that labor and are heavy burdened, come and be refreshed within My arms. See how I am ready to gather you all within My arms; then come all. Let no one fear to be repulsed, for I desire not the death of the sinner but that he be converted and live. My delights are to be with the children of men.’
Sweet in the opening of His side; for that opening reveals to us the riches of His goodness and the charity of His Heart towards us.
Sweet in the nailing of His feet with one nail; for by that He says to us: ‘Lo, if you think that I must flee from you, and so are slow to come to Me, knowing that I am swift as the hart, see that My feet are fixed by a nail, so that I can in no wise flee from you, for mercy has me bound fast. I cannot flee from you as your sins deserve, for My hands are fixed with nails.’
Good Jesus, humble Lord, dear Lord, sweet in mouth, sweet in ear, unknowable and untellably pleasant, kind and merciful, mighty, wise, benign, generous but not rash, exceedingly sweet and gentle! Thou alone art the highest good, beautiful above the sons of men, fair and comely, the chosen of thousands and all-desirable! Fair things become the fair. O my Lord, now my whole desires Thine arms and Thy kiss. I desire nought but Thee, as though no reward were promised. If hell and heaven were not, yet would I long for Thee, for Thy sweet good and for Thyself. Thou art my constant meditation, my word, my work. Amen.”
– St. Anselm
Royalty
A blessed Palm Sunday.
Royalty
He was a plain man
and learned no latin.
Having left all gold behind
he dealt out peace
to all us wild ones
and the weather.
He ate fish, bread,
country wine and God’s will.
Dust sandaled his feet.
He wore purple only once
and that was an irony.
~Luci Shaw
and Angels danced
A Sunday poem . . .
A wonderful poem about the joy of the angels when any of us repents of our sin:
Choreography for Angels
I say to you, that there is joy among the angels in heaven upon one sinner doing penance . . . (Luke 15.10)
Who spun these Angels into dance
When wars are needing artillery
Of spirits’ cannonading. Armistice
Wants first the over-powering wings, and they
Are occupied with pirouettes! Who did this?
Gone penitent, I caused it. I confess it.
Who tilted flames of Seraphim
In arabesques of pure delightedness?
Is not the cosmic crisis begging fire
For full destruction of hate’s hazarding?
Why Seraphs swirling flames on floors of heaven?
I lit the heavens, when I bent my head.
Who lined mystic corps-de-ballet
Of Cherubim? Who set in pas-de-deux
This Power with this Principality?
Why these Archangels not on mission sent
Today, but waltzing on stars, and singing?
I…
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If you see a man with one eye
Good advice.
Christians . . . should strive in all things and ought not to pass judgment of any kind on anyone, neither on the prostitute nor on sinners nor on disorderly persons. But they should look upon all persons with a single mind and a pure eye, so that it may be for such a person almost a natural and fixed attitude never to despise or judge or abhor anyone or to divide people according to categories. If you see a man with one eye, do not make any judgment in your heart, but regard him as though he were whole. If someone has a maimed hand, see him not as maimed. See the crippled as straight, the paralytic as healthy. For this is purity of heart, that, when you see the sinners and the weak, you have compassion and show mercy toward them. (Pseudo Macarius)
And I would add: “If you see yourself with one eye, do not make any judgment in your heart . . . and so on.”
When faced with oppression
When faced with oppression, I resort to this advice:
- Read the Psalms persistently.
- Make repeated acts of faith.
- Love and trust.
- Avoid focusing on feelings.
- Laugh in the face of the foe.
- Let the body do what the spirit can’t.
- Pray with praise and adoration.
- Rest in the hearts of Our Lady and her Son.
~Jean Fox
Witnesses to Hope 