I’ve been thinking about what I found most supportive after my brother, Tim, died. I think of a few things. People who just sat with me, were with me, not saying much, just being there. Like Job’s friends who sat with him in silence–probably the only thing that they did right. People who said something when they didn’t know what to say–but at least they said something, not pretending that nothing had happened. People who didn’t try to “fix” me by giving me all kinds of perspective, Christian or otherwise. Again, sometimes the best thing was just being there with me, not necessarily saying a lot. Not leaving me entirely alone. (I was afraid to be alone those first days after he died.) People who surprised me with gifts: two dozen white roses, a dinner, a card. People who would ask me, “Can I do anything for you?” and be okay with me saying, “No, but thank you so much for asking.”
Friends who still recognize that I’m grieving, even four years later, and still “sit with me” in it. To you especially, I say thank you.