When our emotions seem to outrun our surrender

I’m fairly sleep deprived with a lot “on my plate” at the moment, and actually have had a lot on my plate for over a year–not just a lot to do, but am dealing with a lot of major things that I can’t really go into here.  That can easily kick up anxiety in me.  My tendency then is to get anxious about being anxious.  I mean, I do my best to surrender it all to God, but inevitably the feelings of anxiety are still there, and then I get anxious: am I not surrendering enough, etc.  Soooo that brought to my mind two things: 1) my spiritual director’s “mantra” to me: “Don’t be afraid of being afraid,” which I could now rephrase: “Don’t be anxious about being anxious,” and 2) what Caryll Houselander wrote about dealing with her fear and anxiety during WWII which I’ve posted here.

Something else I’ve tried to do (when I remember!) is to offer up my “suffering” of fear or anxiety or whatever.  It is a suffering for sure, not to be wasted.

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