Category: trials

Hard-pressed

Sr. Dorcee, beloved1 Comment

It’s been a good while since I’ve quoted anything from my friend, Amy Carmichael . . . and she is always so good:

Is 53.7 Hard-pressed–yet He humbled Himself, nor opened His mouth.

The assault of our great enemy comes in waves.  Sometimes we cannot do the work committed to us to do, and this is indeed a trial of faith.  “Hard-pressed” is the word that describes it all.

It is the word spoken of our Lord Jesus in Rotherman’s translation. Hard-pressed–yet He humbled Himself, nor opened His mouth.  To ask why, even to wonder why, is to open our mouth.  Our Lord Jesus Christ shows us the way here as everywhere.  Am I hard-pressed in any direction inward or outward?  The only word I speak must be a word of acceptance  “Even so, Father.”  Underfoot is the rock of Romans 8.28.  Overhead is the banner of Eternal Love.  Nothing is going wrong, however wrong it seems.  All, all is well.

A good story

Sr. Dorcee, beloved3 Comments

Yesterday, I had one of those days that did not go according to “my” plans.  It did make for a good story later, but at the moment I found myself quite frustrated and irritated that I had to drop everything for someone else and that I didn’t get to eat lunch until mid-afternoon.  I had to do something on the computer that I really didn’t know how to do.  I had someone on the phone walking me through it, but the phone cord was too short to reach to the computer so I had to keep dropping the receiver, go work on the computer, and then back to pick up the phone. (I hope you’re laughing at this point–but let me assure you, I wasn’t.) I did have the brilliant idea at one point to switch a cord and handset from another phone–but when I went to hang it up so that I could call the person back later, the handset did not fit the cradle!  Then the online account that was needed to pay for the services I was trying to secure ran out of money.  That would have been easy if the account had been in my name, but it wasn’t.  Something else to figure out.  And so on and so on. (And there was a “so on and so on”, let me tell you.) Like I said, it made for a good story later–but not at the time.  It was humbling to see my weakness and selfishness cry out so strongly at such a simple interruption.

I pray that you respond more quickly to the grace of God than I did yesterday.  Let us pray for each other–that at least we will have the humility to cry out to God in our weakness . . . and hopefully have a  good story to tell when it is all over.  I love this prayer from Amy Carmichael:

A day or two ago one who was with me prayed like this, “Lord, help me to welcome interruptions, especially when the interruption seems less important than the work I am trying to do.”  That prayer has often been mine.  I expect many of you have felt the need of the loving grace of the Lord to help you to welcome interruptions, especially when they do not seem to matter nearly so much as what we are doing at the moment.  Thinking of this, I found myself this early morning in Lk. 9.11.  The people followed our Lord Jesus (He had wanted to be alone with His disciples just then), and He welcomed them.

Be it understood

Sr. Dorcee, beloved1 Comment

“Be it understood and remembered that the darkness of trials is not evil, that dryness of spirit is not sin, and that confusion of mind is not malice. They are invitations to patience, calls to resignation, beckonings to the healing Cross, and admonitions to be humble and obedient to the will of God.”

William Ullathorne from Patience and Humility, Sophia Institute Press

“At times it seems I am getting worse”

Sr. Dorcee, belovedLeave a comment

The beginning of the second chapter of Fr. Tadeusz Dajczer’s book, Amazing Nearness:

I get so disheartened.  I am frequently in touch with the Lord, yet I am always falling away from Him.  I am always falling in the same old way.  At times it seems I am getting worse.  Furthermore, it is He who is inviting me to follow and unite with Him.  I am not starting it. He is.  He is the way; He is lighting the way.  He is the grace that leads me on.  I know so little about this because He doesn’t want me to know His mysterious operations within me.

I ask how I can avoid getting so disheartened.  Yet it is success that should really surprise me.  I have to remember that the Lord only enters my heart through the failures that cause my spiritual emptiness.  That is where faith comes in.  He wants me to be inundated with problems so He can stay with me.  Then I will want Him more and more.

I need to be patient with myself.  He doesn’t get disheartened with me, so why should I get so upset?  He loves me just as I am.

Fr. Dajczer, of course, is not condoning complacency here.  We need to, of course, be quick to repent and try to change.  But he recognizes that even as we try so hard, there are many times when we still fall.  These are the times he is speaking about:

It is often hard for me to be forbearing [with myself], as I want everything immediately so that I am better than others.  Yet God is not in a hurry.  I am the hasty one with an interior hubbub.  This impedes my spiritual progress.  My impatience may look like zeal or even righteous indignation.  I forget that this can be self-love or greed.

The answer, as always, is full surrender to Him, to His time and His plan.  To be patient with ourselves and with Him.  ” He wants me to be inundated with problems so He can stay with me.  Then I will want Him more and more.”

Cracks filled with gold

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“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.” — Billie Mobayed

To me, that sounds like a pretty good deal–but, our God, in His incredible love, not only fills the cracks in our lives with gold, but transforms our very lives into a vessel of pure gold.  Amazing love.

“Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed every day.  For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. . .”